I am struggling at the moment – I know what I want to be (an author), but though I have a plan for how to get there I’m not there yet. I feel like I’m in an extended period of metamorphosis.
It’s nearly five years since I last worked in an office, and seven since I worked fulltime. While I miss the people I worked with I really don’t know how I fitted it in! (Though I never worked with two children and a renovation project to manage.) It’s interesting to look back and see how far I’ve come. The children are becoming evermore independent, with the benefits and frustrations that brings. In a way I’m glad not to be in a job, as the step to leave the security of employment to step out on your own is huge. While I can build up my business without worrying about a drop in income or squeezing my writing into the spare time left over after work as well as home, children and everything else.
Does this feeling of being in the middle of intense change ever go? It feels as if I’ve been like this for years. Maybe it’s just the result of having children and readjusting to accommodate them. And as they keep changing so will I need to. Though moving to the Netherlands and now to set up my own business are choices that we’ve made independent of the children, though obviously with them in mind.
My business plans are moving on, I should have things in place to announce soon – not books, but a side-line to start with. Sorry not to be more specific, but when it’s ready I will let everyone know. I am working hard at setting things up, though from the outside that’s mostly invisible. My routines and schedules are still a work in progress, but I feel that they’re coming closer to what works best for me with everything else that’s going on. It’s a struggle to balance what I need to do now with planning what I need to do in two, six or twelve months from now. I need to be strict with myself to stick to my current priorities, while still having an eye to the future and learning about how to best do that.
I’m very excited and look forward to sharing it with you. I’m working to make sure that I have properly prepared what I want to do, and I don’t just go rushing straight in and make a mess of it. But I am eager to launch it and show you what I’ve been working on. So watch this space!
Your question, “Does this feeling of being in the middle of intense change ever go?” reminded me of a poem a friend gave me many years ago. I don’t have the poem anymore but the gist of it is being in the middle of intense change IS life. It used the metaphor of life as a messy desk, piled high with a variety of projects. We dream of a clean desk, but the clean desk in this poem was a symbol of death, the “messiness” of life over.
Looking forward to learning more of your newest projects.
Interesting Amy, yes everything is always in flux isn’t it! Thanks